Phoebe's Stories
by losttear
Summary: Phoebe's life story, while living on the streets [the rating may change] age 13-14 harmless humor (may see some other friends along the way)
1. The one with Ursula's box

_Summary: Phoebe's adventures while living on the streets Ch1. Ursula gets a new box and Phoebe sees Monica and Rachel for the first time._

**Phoebe's Stories.**

**The one with Ursula's box.**

Ever since we were kids, me and Ursula had to share a box - aka our bed. Yeah, that's right, we sleep in a box. I sigh. It really sucks, it's like waking up next to a mirror. And we really look a state in the morning. Anyway, I was sleeping late one warm summer morning. A tiny rip in the box let a ray of light shine on my cheek. Ah the warmth and the comfort and the…loud knocking sound. What?

I open the top of the box, to see who's making that horrible sound. Just great, it's Mrs Giggles.

"Mrs Giggles, we're not making any noise!" I moan, staring at an old lady who lives behind the dumpster. She always wears a dark purple robe and fluffy, bunny-rabbit sleepers. He hair is a wild mess and her lipstick is dried up on her bottom lip.

"You stole my cat." she says, hands dug in deep in her pockets.

"You don't have a cat" my identical twin points out from inside the box. Great, you've woken up the pure evil of the garbage world.

"I could have a cat" the old lady hisses.

"Bye Mrs Giggles." I close the box up and rest my head on an old sweater I found in the trash last week.

"You owe me a cat" I hear the crazy woman squeak as she walks back to her dumpster.

I toss and turn, but cant get to sleep.

"I think we're getting too big for this box" I point out as Ursula turns to face me.

"What makes you say that?" my twin rubs her eyes sleepily.

I raise an eyebrow and point to our feet sticking out through a rib in the bottom.

She sighs "Yeah, Ok, I'll go see if I can trade my jar of mustard for a new one." she mumbles.

"Thank you" I smile closing my eyes again and doze off for a while.

When I wake up, the pure evil is gone somewhere, I dig in under her pillow of ripped up newspaper. The jar of mustard is gone. I cant wait to have the box to myself. I'll write 'Phoebe's box! Hands off!' on the side, so that everyone will know better than to try and steal it.

I get up, gently brushing the leaves and twigs off my hair. I put them there, so it's more comfy. I collected them off the floors of Time Square last autumn, you see I'd never rip the fresh ones, I'm a vegetarian and respect the nature, unlike my devilish twin.

I head off to find some breakfast. It's tough being a veggie, Ursula could easily catch a rat and roast it, but I have to search high and low for any form of fruit or vegetable.

Lucky for me, there's a waffle-cart, just around the corner and I manage to steal one.

When I come back Ursula is sitting by our box with a bunch of crayons and next to her is a brand new box, which is a bit smaller than ours, but she was always skinnier, so that doesn't matter.

She's writing 'Ursula's box' on the side.

"Hey!" she greets me, waving her hand towards the pretty pink writing on her brand new box. "Isn't it pretty?" she asks and I nod in agreement.

I don't really think its that pretty. Mine is much better.

Suddenly she stops "Ew!" she points over to the other side of the alley. "Ugly naked gal is roasting a rat."

We shiver and continue to discuss who's box is prettier.

After a while I give up and sit down in my box, which now has another one next to it. Suddenly I see two tidy, high school girls stop by the waffle-cart. One is really tall, with wavy light brown hair and an incredibly long nose, the other one is short and fat, with night-black hair and about 10 waffles in her hand.

"Wow" I scratch my head, observing the two carefully "She's fatter than ugly naked gal" I point out and my twin giggles, snorting once in a while. I frown, I hope I don't laugh like that.

Ursula stares at them for a while. "Look at that tall one. How sad. I bet she's a total daddy's girl." I look over. She's wearing a near pink jacket with knee high, brown boots and a short red skirt. "I could tackle her to the ground with my little pinkie" Ursula laughs as the 'twig' and the 'potato' walk away.

(Me: If some of you don't know yet. It was teenage Rachel and Monica, who they were laughing at. Bet Phoebe doesn't remember that…or maybe she does…hm…on with the story…)

"Good night" I whisper to my twin, as I lay down in my own box, stretching my arms out, happily. All this space. Wow. Ursula wishes me good night and falls asleep immediately, snoring just a tiny bit. I wonder if I snore. Hm…The thoughts are leaving my mind and I begin to drift away.

I'm dreaming. I'm in my happy place. Lalalalalalalalalalalala. I love being in my happy place, it's so cool. A little talking doggy walks over to me, licks my face and says "Phoebe, my box is gone." What! That's not right. I wake up, seeing myself pull at my hair.

"Ow!" I yell in pain "What the hell are you doing?"

"My box is gone" the second me pouts. Oh no, wait, that's Ursula. Ha, sometimes I forget that I have a twin.

"What?" my eyes are closing, as my eye lids become heavier by the second.

"Fine" she stomps off.

Ursula finds her box behind the dumpster, heavy snoring coming out.

Angrily, she knocks and the box opens.

"Yes?" Mrs Giggles looks up.

"Mr Giggles, this is my box!" she informs her, hands placed firmly on her hips.

"No it's mine" she protests.

"It's not your box!" she frowns

"It could be my box!" the old lady argues.

"Then why does it say Ursula on the side? You're not Ursula!" my twin states.

"I could be Ursula" the woman spits.

Dragging the box angrily "Good night, Mrs Giggles" she walks away from the crazy woman.

"You owe me a box." she mumbles, walking back behind her dumpster.

"Neighbours" Ursula rolls her eyes, falling asleep peacefully in her new box.

_There you go, the first story of Phoebe's adventures. I hope you liked it. R&R please. I'll have many more coming up for you, so make sure you check that out! J_

_NOTE: Mrs Giggles is the annoying neighbour from the dumpster and the ugly naked gal is the one living across the alley. I am not copying F.R.I.E.N.D.S. as they also have MR Heckles and ugly naked guy, this just suggests that when Phoebe lived on the streets they had exactly the same annoying neighbours. They kind of represent every annoying neighbour in the world, I guess._

_..Until my next fic.._


	2. The one with the ugly naked bath

_Summary: Ch2. Ursula finds an old guitar and they attempt to tackle a certain odour-problem._

_Warning: Some scenes might be too horrifying to smaller children. AAAAAH! _

**Phoebe's adventures.**

**The one with the ugly naked bath.**

"Look what I found!" the devilish twin surprised me from behind.

"It's a…what is it?" I ask, looking at the weird instrument in her hand.

"It's a guitar, silly. Mum used to have one of those, remember?"

"Oh yeah, wow." I admire the brown instrument in my sisters hands. Some of the silver strings are ripped and the strap is all mouldy, but it still looks beautiful.

"I'm gonna go to Loule to see how much its worth, coming?" she asked, not taking her eye of the treasure in front of her.

"Can I buy it?" I wonder, my eyes beginning to shine.

"Um…ok, since you're my sister I guess I could." she smirks

"YAY! How much?" I wonder, stroking the gentle wood, glazed with red and brown paint.

"Um…15 dollars." I stare

"If I had 15 dollars, I wouldn't be sleeping in a box" I point out "I'd get a mattress" we both sigh and stare into space. Nothing better than a mattress.

"Fine then, you cant have it." she walks away and I pout. The pure evil just doesn't want me to have something that she doesn't.

I fluff the sweater under my head and fall asleep. I know it's the middle of the day, but there's nothing better to do. A revolting smell wakes me up.

I know what you're thinking. She lives in a dumpster, that's full of revolting smells, but not quite as revolting as this one. It's been like this for nearly a month and each day the smell got worse. I squeezed my nose with my hair clip and went back to sleep.

"Wake up!" Ursula nudged me.

"What?" I stared at her, my voice high and squeaky coz the hair clip was still dug deep into my nose.

"Still?" Ursula asks me, fanning the air around her

"Still" I sigh, as she sits down beside me. Ugly naked gal hasn't washed in over a year and her skin is beginning to get darker every day.

We sit next to each other, not saying a word, trying to get the horrible smell out of our head, or at least our noses.

"So…" I mumble trying to talk to my complete opposite "D'ya sell the guitar?"

"Yeah, Loule sold it to me for 4 bucks." she's still fanning the air around her.

"4 bucks! I could have sold my cat skull and given you twice as much!" I whine.

"Oh well, too late." she smirks.

I pout. Even if she had to give it away for free, Ursula would never EVER want to see me happy. I growl.

"What are we gonna do about the smell?" Ugly naked gal is all the way over on the other side of the alley, but the smell still reached us. I could see cats running away from her, as Mrs Giggles tries to catch one. What kind of people are we surrounded by? I sigh.

That night we're planning to get rid of the horrible smell once and for all. We're gonna perform the impossible, ladies and gentlemen, we're gonna give ugly naked gal…a bath. That's right. We got some brushes and buckets with soap water from Loule. For those of you who don't know him. That's most of you. He's the businessman of the trash can, the king of the garbage world, he has everything and I mean everything, he's one of my dear old friends.

Anyway back to the bath. Everyone in our neighbourhood is bothered by the smell and they all heard about our plan. Some are even brave enough to watch.

We call it…the Ugly Naked Bath…dum dum dum!

We're waiting 'till about 9pm for the ugly naked gal to fall asleep.

"Wow." My sister is amazed by how brave we grown up to be. "If this works we'll be famous."

"I know, isn't it exciting?" I smile, me and my sis are gonna bond.

"Not really" she frowns. "It's icky!" she informs me and I raise an eyebrow

"Not as icky as the smell."

"I guess you're right" she agrees, giving me one of her fake smiles.

We get the brushes ready. At 9pm exactly, we hear loud, grumpy snoring. Ok. I try to calm myself, as we walk towards the big lump of skin. I nod at my sister who gently pours the bucket of water over the sleeping…er…monster and we begin…

Ladies and gentlemen. I'm afraid that the next few minutes will be cut out from the show, seeing as they are too horrifying and scaring to the eyes, instead we're going to talk about turtles…Enjoy.

And so the mother turtle is happy that her 20 little baby turtles are finally hatched from their eggs and she watched them walk away into the sea, a tear down her rough face. Her babies are all grown up…

We would like to inform you that it is now safe to tell you the rest of 'Phoebe's Stories.' Sadly the two twins have failed in giving the giant woman a bath. But thankfully, she couldn't get up quick enough to chase the lovely girls down the alley.

You would also like to know that being the clever girls that they are, using Ursula's 4 dollars, they bought an air freshener for their little boxes and now everyone is happy…apart from about 30 other homeless people who are now living in a different neighbourhood, where the smell isn't as strong…

_Hope you likes the bath story. It's a bit mean, I gotta say, but hey, that's the way it is in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. so we do it too. Apologies to anyone who got offended. J_

_More weird and crazy stories of the dumpster life are coming soon!_


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